THE LAST GREMLIN STORY 5

WARNER BROS. RECORDS
1984
33 1/3


SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download



Editor's note: you really don't expect me to research a motherf**@&@@ Gremlin's record do you?

TWO SIDES OF LEONARD NIMOY

by Leonard Nimoy


DOT RECORDS
DLP 25835
1968
STEREO





SIDE A:



Highly Illogical 2:21
The Difference Between Us 2:15
Once I Smiled 2:07
Spock Thoughts 3:00
By Myself 2:15
Follow Your Star 2:29
Amphibious Assault 2:40

download


SIDE B:



The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins 2:18
Cotton Candy 2:34
Gentle On My Mind 2:46
Miranda 2:55
If I Were A Carpenter 2:45
Love Of The Common People 2:45

download

Editor's note: I'm sure that this record has been posted elsewhere umpteen times but seeing as I don't look around much at record blogs unless they feature rather obscure stuff I have never heard it myself. Not even a snippet. So, after finding two Spock records at an estate sale I snatched them up and intend to beam them across yer galaxy. Having thus far listened to the first side I am quite impressed! Spock rocks!

HOLLYWOOD EXPOSE AN EVENING IN COPENHAGEN

by Rae Bourbon


UTC RECORDS
UTC 9
1950s?

SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download

Editor's note: Rae Bourbon was a... ah- forget it, a cross-dressing dude from the 1950s needs no introduction! Song, smarmy poetry, faux forced infectious laughter and gossipy stories galore. That he-she put out multiple albums proves once more that vinyl was and is the king. If you'd like to read more about Bourbon check here and here.

PS...Bah- SHIT! I didn't even catch the fact that this isn't "Hollywood Expose" at all but rather "AN EVENING IN COPENHAGEN". That's what happens when you don't check the fucking label in your cross-dressing excitement! Oh well, it's a brilliant freak piece just the same.

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST / SPIDER'S DELIGHT

by Jimmy "Spiderman" Allen with Dave Hill and Jimmy Hunter


CUE-2 RECORDS
11002
STEREO
1980


SIDE A:



Another One Bites The Dust

download

SIDE B:



Spider's Delight

download

Editor's note: with yesterday's come-from-behind victory over the Dallas Cowboys the Detroit Lions started the season 4-0 for the first time since 1980. It was during that frenzy of a winning streak that Jimmy "Spiderman" Allen recorded these songs and the town rocked with enthusiasm for a team mired in years of defeat. Shortly after this song was released they lost to the Atlanta Falcons 43-28. They won their next game against the Saints but only went 4-6 the rest of the way, missing the playoffs due to a tiebreaker with the Vikings. As a lifelong sufferer of NFL defeat at the hands of the Lions I figured that jinxing them is almost impossible at this point so here is the song. LIOOOOOOOOOONS!

SIX NONLECTURES: NONLECTURE 1

by E.E. Cummings


CAEDMON RECORDS
TC 1186
1965


SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download



Editor's note: say what you want about poetry but some of the classic poets of the 20th century were the best that the ages have seen. Cummings is one of them. He was a strange amalgamation of silly, sentimental and politically acerbic which is kind of the same framework for my own stupidity. It makes sense because he was one of my first influences and even though he was merely expressing his creative side, a downgrade from his true intellect, I truly am that stupid! Ah- well, such is life. I'd re-do just about everything but not the Cummings phase. You'll probably disagree with his merits as a literary force but that's your problem.

SPOOKY HALLOWEEN

by The Wonderland Singers


WONDERLAND RECORDS
LP-293
STEREO
1974





SIDE A:



There Is a Haunted House In Town
Around The Block And Up The Street
Ghoul Days, Ghoul Days
We Are The Witches Three
Bats In The Belfry
As The Witched Go Flying Along
A Halloween Song
The Pumpkin Man
Halloween Is All Around

download


SIDE B:



I've Been Working On My Costume
It's A Good Old Halloween
Halloween Friends
The Pumpkin On The VIne
Have A Happy Halloween
Twinkle, Twinkle, Candlelight
Trick Or Treat

download



Editor's note: other than a short snippet of Halloween effects at the beginning of the first side this hardly qualifies as a Halloween record. Most, if not all of the tracks, are classic songs given new lyrics to fit the Halloween theme. Which isn't the worst idea but it's surely geared for 6 year olds and not so 35 year old beatnik from Paris who downloads 300 LPs a day on the internet. Seeing as this is the only new Hallo-record I could find this year in the dollar bins at the thrift stores I'm pretty disappointed in this one.

IS HEALTH THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM? QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

by Dr. Ernie Panza, narrated by Jim Miller


T-TOWN RECORDS
31419/31420
33 1/3
1970s?


SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download

Editor's note: well now... I found this lucky surprise inside an LP entitled "The Golden Facts of Life --- And Health" by Reginald R. Gold, D. C., PH. C.. I don't know if I just put the 45 in there after buying them from a local Salvation Army or if it was in there and I somehow missed it when I perused the wax to verify its playability chances. Either way it's here and it's about chiropractic! I hope you enjoy this because the full length LP by Gold will be coming sooner than later. Of course I've said such things before and then disappeared for months on end. We'll see.

As for Panza himself: I think he is still with us but it could be his son or just another guy with the same name and profession. Not that it matters since nobody can take Panza away from us now!

STRIP ALONG WITH US

STRAND RECORDS
SLS 1072
1962

SIDE A:



A PRETTY GIRL IS LIKE A MELODY
MISTY
SOPHISTICATED LADY
BLUES IN THE NIGHT
NIGHT TRAIN

download


SIDE B:



HARLEM NOCTURNE
TEMPTATION
BASIN STREET BLUES
MY HEART BELONGS TOP DADDY
MOOD INDIGO

download



Editor's note: I've never been to a strip joint and don't plan on going anytime soon either. Not that I have anything against dancing naked chicks but seeing as it's morally reprehensible to me to pay to see boobs I'll pass on the show. However, if you're up for getting naked and doing it for free I'll set up shop around yer dancing table any day. Just make sure there aren't other dudes hanging about because two guys hairy eyeballing the same gratis stripper is almost worse than paying a ho to bare her wares.

SELL YOURSELF RICH

by G. Worthington Hipple


BUSINESSMEN'S RECORD CLUB
BRC 116
1962
MONO





SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download



Editor's note: why is it that every motivational speaker always plays himself off as both a brutal cutthroat and a soft fuzzy joke at the same time? I guess it goes to the heart of wearing the masks of both the businessman and a gentleman and separating them at appropriate times. Well, I'll give a little insight to the uninitiated: the whole separation of business from pleasure is just an excuse for a naturally born asshole to be what he is half the time while justifying it as a matter of principle. Listen, usually if you're an asshole at work you're an ingrate away from the occupation waiting to happen and you'll act this way often and people will hate you. I have a feeling that they already do. I know I do.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

by Steinski & Mass Media


4TH & B'WAY
BWAY-434
1986
45 RPM


SIDE A:

We'll Be Right Back Club Edit 5:17



download


We'll Be Right Back Radio Edit 3:12



download


SIDE B:

We'll Be Right Back Dub Version 6:16



download


We'll Be Right Back Bonus Beats 3:33



download


Editor's note: what? You don't know who Steinski is? I'm no expert on hip hop, trip hop, flip flop, etc., but what Steinski does is mash up soundbites with "beats". Generally they are sardonic but often serious musical compositions as well (aqs far as "beats" and hip-hop can be considered artist excellence). The guy is a Wall Street type who does this because he can and seeing as he's put out relatively few recordings over the years he's in no hurry to become a musical maestro. Then again, I guess he already is because the guy's name is gold in the dub club blub chub scene. I don't really know what I'm talking about but I do love Steinski and if you don't aslo then you're clearly a failure at life.

THE SIMPLEST THING IN THE WORLD

written and read by Ayn Rand

NBI COMMUNICATIONS
LR 12
1950s?





SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download



Editor's note: despite all of the prostrations from Generation Xbox I still like Ayn Rand. In fact I believe her novel Atlas Shrugged to be one of the greatest fiction books ever written. Sure, she wrote above her intellect and the Hugo imitations with long drawn-out descriptive passages choke the book at times, the concept, plot and story are quite brilliant. Yes, she turned a 40 year old hermit virgin stalker named John Galt into a hero rapist and saver of the world but the fact that nobody else had before or after is a testament to her greatness.

While this story doesn't quite carry the weight of her Shruggian opus this is an amusing story of self-conceit. Nonetheless, her Draculian accent highlights the pompous humor and makes it a sick collaboration between haughtiness and the sublime average.

THE HOLY BIBLE EXPOSES JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR

by Jack Van Impe


DIADEM RECORDS
DLP 313
1971





SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download



Editor's note: I'm not religious but I love me some Jack Van Impe! In fact, listening to classic preachers like him is preferable to me over music, news or sports talk. I suppose that my liking Dr. Jack has a little to do with his belief in the New World Order and that he preaches against its evil on a regular basis and has done so for many years. Yep, nothing like conspiracy and fables to grow a heart warm and cozy.

THE LION FOR REAL

by Allen Ginsberg with various musicians


GREAT JONES RECORDS
GJ6004
1989
STEREO





SIDE A:



SCRIBBLE :48
COMPLAINT OF THE SKELETON TO TIME 3:01
XMAS GIFT 1:49
TO AUNT ROSE 3:31
THE LION FOR REAL 5:45
THE SHROUDED STRANGER 3:21
GREGORY CORSO'S STORY 2:15

download


SIDE B:



CLEVELAND, THE FLATS 2:59
THE END 2:04
STANZAS WRITTEN AT NIGHT IN RADIO CITY 5:05
SUNSET 1:40
HUM BOM! 3:58
KRAL MAJALES 5T:08
GURU 3:30
ODE TO FAILUTE 2:45

download



Editor's note: I always tout myself as being a spoken word record connoisseur and now I've opened up the vaults and will pour it deep into you. Ginsberg, as some of you may well know, was a beat poet and an innovator in opening up the medium from its stiff formalities. The only problem I have with that is that it allowed for every rhyming fool and big mouth with a microphone to call themselves a poet. Ginsberg was good at what he did but I wouldn't consider him one of the better poets by any means. That's not really saying much either considering what the art has become in the post modern age.

AIRMAN!! UNITED STATES AIR FORCE BASIC TRAINING IN SOUND

narrated by John Hart


DOCUMENTARY RECORD CO.
V9399
1959
MONO





SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download



Editor's note: pretty self-explanatory as a behind the scenes look at the military training of the U. S. Air Force in the 1950s. Simple but interesting as most audio recordings from that era tend to be.

AN EVENING WITH THE NEW YORK HARP ENSEMBLE

by various artists; performed by the New York Harp Ensemble: Barbara Pnewska, Eva Jaslar, Sandra Bitterman, Pattee Cohen; Aristid von Wurlzler, Director and Soloist


MUSICAL HERITAGE SOCIETY
MHS 3890
1950s
MONO


SIDE A:



Variations on a Theme of Corelli - Aristid Von Wurltzer
Granada-Serenada - Isaac Albeniz
Capriccio - Aristid Von Wurltzer
Zarabana from Partita II in C (Ciclo Pianistico) - Joaquin Turina
Intermezzo (from Hary Janos) by Zoltan Kodaly

download


SIDE B:



Morceau de Concert for Four Harps, Op. 154 - Camille Saint-Saens
Prelude No. III, Op. 50 - Ahmed Adnan Saygun
Prelude No. II - George Gershwin
Roumanian Folk Daqnces - Bela Bartok

download



Editor's note: I'll admit to playing this as background music simply because it's not original works and thus I didn't really pay attention. An odd thing to say as a blogger but that's how I feel about remakes unless they are exceptionally good or bad with a preference for the latter.

SOUTH BASS ISLAND BOUND

by Michael Kelly Brewer


THE PUT-IN-BAY TRADING CO.
SBI-1
1983
STEREO





SIDE A:



South Bass Island Bound
Carry Me Back to the Island
South Bass Island Love Song
I Survived the South Bass Island Summer of '82
Lord, I Need a Drink

download


SIDE B:



Don't Drink the Wine
Pride of Put-in-Bay
I Knew You/South Bass Island Love Song: Reprise
Roll On, Lake Erie, Roll On

download



Editor's note: a folksy, made for tourists kind of album with expectant cliches and good feelings. I guess it makes sense since it's located in Ohio and nothing is more boring than being there.

ZODIAC

by Blowfly


WEIRD WORLD RECORDS
WW-2023
1975
STEREO





SIDE A:



Intro.
Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Leo
Cancer
Sagittarius

download


SIDE B:



Intro.
Virgo
Pisces
Libra
Capricorn
Scorpio
Aquarius

download



Editor's note: it didn't take much foresight to see that this record would be as bad as its predecessors by Blowfly and that was the whole purpose of buying it. A raunchy and bawdy record with dated humor that is still better than anything being put out today. The sad part is that the internet is filled with copycat humorists rehashing old bits from classics such as this and trademarking it as their own. Which is why comedy is a such a dismal at nowadays.

SWITCHED ON BACH

by Walter Carlos with Benjamin Folkman


COLUMBIA RECORDS
MS 7194
STEREO




SIDE A:



SINFONIA TO CANTATA NO. 29 3:20
AIR ON A G STRING 2:27
TWO PART-INVENTION IN F MAJOR :40
TWO PART-INVENTION IN B-FLAT MAJOR 1:30
TWO PART-INVENTION IN D MINOR :55
JESU, JOY OF MAN'S DESIRING 2:56
PRELUDE AND FUGUE NO. 7 IN E-FLAT MAJOR 7:07

download


SIDE B:



PRELUDE AND FUGUE NO. 2 IN C MINOR 2:43
CHORALE PRELUDE "WACHET AUF" 3:37
BRANDENBURG CONCERTO NO.3 IN G MAJOR
First Movement 6:35
Second Movement 2:50
Third Movement 5:05

download



Editor's note: of all the major composers Bach is one of the few who leaves me cold. I think it's the harpsichord works that turned me off the most as well as the frenetic piano pieces which I have come to accept a little more as my mind has deteriorated into bathos. Of course he was a musical genius but so, some will say, is Weird Fucking Al! It doesn't mean that I have to like it. This cartoonish take on the master though does my heart some good. Not enough to reverse the years of Dorito plaque build up but as the drunk and loonies say: take it day by day. If that doesn't soothe you then take some comfort in the Michigan sunshine and cloudwork refracted in the vinyl reproduction. Just ignore the blurry graininess of the photo and we'll both feel better about ourselves.

LET US UNITE

by Louis Farrakhan


A.V.C. RECORDS
10903
1984
STEREO


SIDE A:

LET US UNITE 5:28



download

LET US UNITE 3:48



download


SIDE B:

BENEFIT OF UNITY 6:47



download

BENEFIT OF UNITY 4:49



download



Editor's note: since everybody is celebrating the faux death of one Muslim I might as well promulgate the fake love of another. A little calypso Allah for the soul. Anyway, seeing as we share a birthday (not the same year of course) I've always liked the guy because he says whatever he wants. I don't have to believe it to like his message. Also, seeing as I'm in the sharing mood I'll even separate the tracks for ye. Enjoy.

HOLIDAY IN MEXICO

by Los Marimbas Caliente -- Mariachis del Oro --Orquestra Symphonetta del Mexico


VALIANT RECORDS
V-4940
STEREO
1960?





SIDE A:



LA NORTENA
CIELITO LINDA
LAS CHIAPANECAS
EL RELICARIO
JARABE TAPATIO
ADIOS MARQUITA LINDA

download


SIDE B:



LA NEGRA
JESUITA
MACARENAS
LA CUCARACHA
LA GOLINDRINA
RESCAPETATE
LA RASPA

download



Editor's note: despite the rather rough shape of this record -- both the gaping wide jacket and the shredded wax itself -- I'm happy that I bought this and recorded it. Not only because it has a good sound but the cover itself is a classic and you can never go wrong when toting around a big ass guitar and especially in pursuit of a handsome chica. A very festive romp through Mexican "folk songs" that sounds a little too polished and orchestrated for the tag given to it but plays rather nicely nonetheless. A clean copy would probably sound rather exceptional but I have a feeling that this was a Woolworth's bargain bin special and any sealed copy was last opened in the 70s and destroyed on a Fisher Price portable player with a needle like a shark's tooth.