LET'S PRETEND: THE LITTLE MERMAID / ONE EYE, TWO EYES, THREE EYES

STEREO DIMENSION RECORDS
TG 118
1970
STEREO





SIDE A:



THE LITTLE MERMAID

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SIDE B:



ONE EYE, TWO EYES, THREE EYES

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Editor's note: Uncle Ted, eh? This is hardly a Ted Nugent album! A classic fairy record that's part of a larger series of 25 LPs. I saw a few others when I bought this one but they weren't in the greatest shape so I passed on them. Wow, so mermaids don't have souls? Looks like they have something in common with big-legged women, eh Robert Plant?

As for the second story, ONE EYE, TWO EYES, THREE EYES...ummm...yeah! What a sicko story this one is. I don't think a child today could handle such a story without becoming a serial killer or maybe I'm just being a little too dramatic.

SPEAK WELL: OFF THE RECORD

Paul Mills instructs


COLUMBIA RECORDS
CL-1361
1959
MONO





SIDE A:



Forming the "S" Sound
Forming the "TH" Sound
Forming the "L" Sound
Forming the "R" Sound
Forming the "NG" Sound
Forming the "ER" Sound

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SIDE B:



Forming the "OY" Sound
Forming the "A" Sound
Overcoming Nasality
Forming the "SH" Sound
Avoiding Sloppy Speech Habits (Part I)
Avoiding Sloppy Speech Habits (Part II)

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Editor's note: I don't know what it was about the people of the 1950s but they all had similar vocal intonations. From bums to millionaires it was a prim and proper sound when compared to our lazy and lax speech of today. Yet, I find their way fairly annoying. Even more annoying are the people now who speak like they did in the 50s. It's a grating and overachieving sound that doesn't quite meet our time. Which is kind of funny because politicians still rake us over the coals with the same grandiose and dry sentiment that was as false then as it is now. Nobody seems to notice it while it's being said but wonder how they were ever fooled when listening back. Oh well!

JUST IN TIME FOR THE KING'S BIRTHDAY

Narrated by Robert Dryden; Music by Joseph Raposo


SCHOLASTIC RECORDS
CC 0690
1971





SIDE A:



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Editor's note: this is the B Side to "Over in the Meadow". The farmer isn't very bright is he? You'd think after being duped by a mouse and a cat you'd learn.

GOD GAVE THE SONG

by The Hawaiians


WORD RECORDS
WST-8715
1976
STEREO





SIDE A:



Bring Back the Springtime 3:33
Our Great Savior 3:35
O Love that Wilt Not Let Me Go 3:30
God Gave the Song 4:17
Freedom Prayer 3:45

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SIDE B:



Hawaii, Aloha & God Bless America 6:30
My Saviour's Love 3:11
Creature Praise 3:06
Healer of Broken Hearts 4:10
Wonderful Peace 3:10

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Editor's note: while the singing on this record is immaculate and the songs are fine as far as religious LPs go the bitter consensus with me is that this isn't very Hawaiian at all! Not that it was promised to be as such but it's kind of intimated with a group called THE HAWAIIANS! There are some native sounding drumbeats but they sound more African than Hawaiian. If you just want some Christian music you won't be disappointed. However, if you wanted something with a tropical flare you'll be left wanting because this isn't it my brothers.

COME OUT! SONGS FOR CHILDREN'S CELEBRATIONS AGES 2-8

by Neil Blunt and Jack Miffleton


WORD LIBRARY PUBLICATIONS
FR-2382-SM
1971
STEREO/MONO





SIDE A:



LA, LA, LIFE 1:45
RAY THE RANGY RHINO 2:30
RAISE YOUR HANDS 1:35
WHAT CAN MAKE A HIPPOPOTAMUS SMILE? 3:05
TAKE TIME OUT! 2:35
HALLOWEEN SONG 2:00
THE ALPHABET TREE 3:00
COME OUT! 2:10

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SIDE B:



HELLO SONG 1:40
SHE'S JUST AN OLD STUMP 1:10
BIRTHDAY SONG 2:30
GOD MADE US ALL 2:00
TO BE A FRIEND 2:20
P-E-A-C-E 2:27
WAITING BY THE JESSE TREE 2:03
THE CHILDREN OF LIGHT 2:22

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Editor's note: a very mature sounding children's record which mixes both adolescent and religious themes. Plus a Halloween song! I think the fact that the age range target is so broad across a very mutable and oft-changing sub-section accounts for it sounding so amorphous. I mean, my nearly 3 year old is so different than she was just a year ago that it's hard to imagine that her likes and an 8 year old's would be even remotely similar. I guess I'll find out when the time comes.

THE SURREY WITH THE FRINGE ON TOP

by George Wright


PICKWICK RECORDS
SPC-3130
1967?
STEREO





SIDE A:



THE SURREY WITH THE FRINGE ON TOP 3:35
FASCINATION 3:40
AGAIN 3:16
MANHATTAN 3:30
WHEN THE ORGAN PLAYED AT TWILIGHT 3:30

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SIDE B:



LOVE IS A MANY SPLENDORED THING 4:08
YOU ARE TOO BEAUTIFUL 3:41
THERE'S A SMALL HOTEL 3:47
THE PERFECT SONG 3:40

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Editor's note: mellow, mellow, mellow. Too mellow when you were first introduced to George Wright's "Madiera" featured on the electric blue space age LP with the maestro suspended in the great spances of nowhere tweaking the Hammond O like boxed thunder and lightning. Still, it's organ music and as asuch you have nothing to complain about you heathens.

RUFUS THOMAS

by Rufus Thomas


GUSTO RECORDS
GT-0064
1980
STEREO





SIDE A:



(Do The) Push And Pull - part 1 3:21
Do The Funky Chicken 3:28
Barefootin' 2:18
Land Of A 1000 Dances 2:15
In The Midnight Hour 2:16

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SIDE B:



Walking The Dog 2:34
The Breakdown - part 1 3:11
Hi-Heel Sneakers 2:43
Mustang Sally 3:05
Who's Making Love 2:36

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Editor's note: this is obviously a compilation album but the question of whether or not it's a re-recording of his hits or just a greatest hits effort is better left for somebody who has actually heard of RT before. A member of the Blues HOF he is more or less a middle class man's version of James Brown who had success but not on a monumental stage like the Godfather of Soul did. A good listen nonetheless.

ICICLE WORKS

by Icicle Works


ARISTA RECORDS
AL 6-8202
1984
STEREO





SIDE A:



WHISPER TO A SCREAM (BIRDS FLY) 3:48
IN THE CAULDRON OF LOVE 3:48
NIRVANA 5:05
LOVERS' DAY 4:45
A FACTORY IN THE DESERT 3:10

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SIDE B:



WATERLINE 4:04
CHOP THE TREE 4:40
OUT OF SEASON 4:45
AS THE DRAGONFLY FLIES 3:58
LOVE IS A WONDERFUL COLOUR 4:12

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Editor's note: this band reminds me a lot of The Fixx but with a more personal than social nature to them. The singer also gives off very brief moments of sounding like the lead singer of The Scorpions of all groups but those are short glances. Otherwise they sound like a lot of 80s band with gurgling bass, chopping lead guitar and that synth droning in the background. A solid record.

FAMOUS FOLK TALES

as told by Danny Kaye


GOLDEN RECORDS
TGM-V03
1961





SIDE A:



The Farmer of Babbia
The Big Oven
Master of All Masters
The Most Remarkable Cat

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SIDE B:



Nail Broth
The Tale of the Name of the Tree

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Editor's note: a great bunch of folk-tales read by a legendary American actor. It's funny hearing a man calling a pregnant woman "stupid" even if it's in just a work of fiction. Nowadays this record would probably be denounced as misogynist on that ground alone. Such stupid women! Haha. Just kidding.

OVER IN THE MEADOW

Sung by Marvin Hayes; Music by Joseph Raposo


SCHOLASTIC RECORDS
CC 0690
1970





SIDE A:



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Editor's note: this is the A Side to "Just in Time for the King's Birthday". They truly need to bring back the old Scholastic records and get rid of the new cartoons. Today's children entertainment is basically old burned out hippies teaching kids to be morons. These records were educational, intelligent, imaginative and brilliant.

JOURNEY TO THE LORD OF POWER: AN ANCIENT RITUAL OF REMEMBERANCE

by The Halveti-Jerrahi Dhikr


INNER TRADITIONAL INTERNATIONAL
ITI-1001
1980
STEREO





SIDE A:



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SIDE B:



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Editor's note: there's some pretty good music on here but it's very sparingly used and dominated by chanting which gives me the creeps. All chanting is ritualistic and all rituals are weird. Except for posting records! That's cool and refreshing, right?

UKRAINIAN SONGS FROM CARPATHIAN MOUNTAINS

sung by Transcarpathian Song and Dance Ensemble


APON RECORDS
APON-2640
1960s?
STEREO





SIDE A:



OI ZAHRALY MUZYKY (When Music Plays)
CHORNI OCHKA YAK TEREN (Dark Eyes)
HUTSULSKYJ TANOK (Hutsul Dance)
DIVCHYNONKO SHCHOS DUMALA (Thinking About Love)
OI TAM V HAYU PRIDUNAYU (Near the Danube River)
HANDZA LUBKA (Handza Girl)

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SIDE B:



OI LETILY HUSONKY (Flying Geese)
MOYA VERKHOVYNO (My Verkhovyno)
VINOCHOK KARPATSKYH PISEN (Carpathian Songs)
KUTCHERIKY (Curly Hair)
KOLYM BULA MALA MALA (When I was Little)
KOLOMYJKA (Kolomyjka - Nat. Dance)

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Editor's note: I'll admit that I only paid half-attention to this record if you admit that you will never listen to it yourself. Deal? You betcha.

ALPHABET SOUP

MELODY HOUSE RECORDS
MH-19
1960s?





SIDE A:



Alphabet Soup
Alphabet Train
Alphabet Drawing DRill
Alphabet March

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SIDE B:



Ring Around The Alphabet
The Letters In My Name
Alphabet Relays
Acting Out The Alphabet
Alphabet Blues

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Editor's note: if your child doesn't fall asleep first from the repetitious and hypnotizing rhythms they should learn the alphabet rather easily. Play it three or four times a day and they may go quite insane as I found myself doing halfway through each song!

GUNTOWN MOUNTAIN COUNTRY MUSIC SHOW

GUNTOWN MOUNTAIN
DRP-8512
1970s?





SIDE A:



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SIDE B:



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Editor's note: I hate to mock a musician when I can't play or sing a lick myself but I have to say that the singing on this record is not always finely tuned and spotty in parts. The music sounds feasible though and if you like a traveling show then jump on the wagon and start a-hoopin' and a-hollerin'.

A GRADUATION ADDRESS

by Francis Colburn


DROLL YANKEES INC.
DY-11
1977
MONO





SIDE A:



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SIDE B:



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Editor's note: there are many interesting looking records from the Droll Yankees catalog and this one is included. Interesting but not particularly funny. At least not to me. You may think otherwise pahdna. Anyhow, it's that time of the season so I'm sure that somebody is searching for this. It's all yours now, skips and all.

THE THIRD COLOR

by John H. Rousselot


KEY RECORDS
KLP-905
1960s





SIDE A



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SIDE B:



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Editor's note: I guess that there have always been grumblings about Martin Luther King, Jr. being a Communist but I suppose that the same could be said of most church folk who believe in the giving spirit as well. Whether he was or not doesn't really concern me as much as it does the speaker on the record, as you will hear. However, I will tell you that I do believe that most people implicated by McCarthy were Communists whether nefarious or not. Not that it matters in the scope of human history since the rich have always had the working poor by the nuts. It's only now that they allow us to leave the plantation. While I'm out of the killing fields I present you this record to help you toil through your slavish day.

PLAY AND LEARN

with Billy Leach


SUMMIT INDUSTRIES/EVA TONE RECORDS


RHYTHM SETS




SIDE A:





Adventures in Rhythm
Children's Marching Song

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SIDE B:



Circus Days








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SIDE C:





Rhythm Time

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Editor's note: as you can see (look at all the pictures!) this is not a complete set shown here. What you can't see though is that Billy Leach was a veteran of both the celluloid screen and educational records. There's a good article on just that sort of thing here which also mentions Billy Leach.