WATCH THEM DOGS

a sermon by Rev. B. W. Smith, St. John Baptist Church, Buffalo, N.Y.


PASTOR RECORDS
PR 75000
1986


SIDE A:



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SIDE B:



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Editor's note: if all churches were this way and led by old crazy black dudes then more people would be religious. Not me. Unless there was a phonograph preacher with JPG eyes telling me to rawk on. Then I would be a devotee. Until then I'm just a simpleton heathen.

BIG PUMPKIN

by Erica Silverman


SCHOLASTIC INC.
0-590-61191-7
1993


SIDE A:



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Editor's note: seeing as I screwed up my scheduling and left no records for the actual day of Halloween I figured that I would add my first cassette to the collection as a bonus to the religious LP I've also posted. I've been having the urge lately to start collecting cassettes instead of vinyl but keep talking myself out of the foolish notion.

NIGHT IN A GRAVEYARD

HAUNTED HOUSE MUSIC
HHST 10-31 BB
1985





SIDE A:



Night in a Graveyard

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SIDE B:



Scary Effects

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Editor's note: the night in a graveyard sounds something akin to a porno mixed with a frat party hosted by an insane asylum. The scary side is laughably silly and expectedly bad as most albums in this genre are. Their bad-ness is greatness in the eyes of a weirdo such as myself. I suspect the same for you since you are in fact here reading this and listening to it as well.

GHOSTLY SOUNDS

by A. Ghost


POWER RECORDS
S 343
1970s
STEREO





SIDE A:



BATS
WALKING MONSTER WITH CHAINS
THE VAMPIRE'S CASTLE
THREE A.M. HORROR
WITCHES' BREW
WITCHES AND GOBLINS

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SIDE B:



THE MAD HARPIST
THE PHANTOM OF THE CATHEDRAL
THE GRAVEYARD
THE SWAMP CREATURE
WOLF ATTACKS MAN
MEAN...HOWLING WOLF...MAD DOGS

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Editor's note: yep, two Halloween records with the same name by two different record companies and they are completely different. Both are cheesy goodness just the same.

GHOSTLY SOUNDS

narrated by Peter Waldron


PETER PAN RECORDS
8125
1970s
STEREO





SIDE A:



GHOSTLY SOUNDS

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SIDE B:



THE GHOSTS FROM OUTER SPACE

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Editor's note: these Halloween sound effects records all sound like they came from the same guy but that he distributed them in pieces to different companies. I'm not complaining because they are silly fantastic as they are.Okay, I'm actually envious of this guy. I WANT TO BE THE HALLOWEEN RECORD MAKING GUY!

FAMOUS GHOST STORIES!

with scary sounds!


PICKWICK RECORDS
SPC-5146
STEREO

SIDE A:



THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN
THE GHOST SHIP
THE TELL-TALE HEART
THE RAILROAD SIGNAL MAN
THE HITCH HIKER

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SIDE B:



A VISIT TO TRANSYLVANIA
THE BLOODY TOWER
THE HAUNTED GOLD MINE
THE SPECTER
THE MISER'S GOLD

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Editor's note: I recorded this way back in the spring or early summer and hardly remember it although listening to the first few minutes it sounds a bit rough and much like the Halloween story records I posted last year. Too bad! It's Halloween and things should sound creaky, used and old.

As an aside, I have come into a problem: my fucking camera broke! All I did was bump the lens as it extended and now it won't even open. I have about two or three weeks worth of pictures backlogged so I can post those but after that the blog might undergo a drastic change because I can't afford to buy another camera at the moment. Hopefully some of you weirdos out there will take me up on my proposal and make an offer on some of my posted records so that I can raise some funds. I'm not going to beg for donations or anything cheesy like that but I'm more than willing to exchange some product for some payola. Otherwise I'll be posting shit pictures to match the shit recordings.

IVAN KIVITT'S THE WITCH WHO STOLE TOYLAND

by The Kid Stuff Repertory Company


KID STUFF RECORDS
KS 205
1979





SIDE A:



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SIDE B:



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Editor's note: SORRY FOR THE ROUGH RIDE AND SKIPS ON SIDE B BUT IT HAS DEEP GROOVED SCRATCHES AND THERE'S NOTHING TO BE DONE ABOUT IT! Anyhow, this is not exactly a scary Halloween record or a Halloween record at all for that matter. Partially a Christmas story, partially a kid-comedy and more importantly an uh... witchy adventure. Also notable for featuring the first overtly gay gremlin on LP!

THE BELL WITCH

as told by Jackie Torrence


SOUTHERN MAGAZINE
1980s
33 1/3


SIDE A:



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Editor's note: this was a lucky find while in Nashville which is nearby the actual Bell Witch occurrences in Adams, TN. I went to the cave one day to visit but it was closed for whatever reason and I never went back. Maybe I should. The record is rough sounding but you're not likely to find it anywhere else so shut yer yapper!

GOD CAN

by Ray Lassell


CRUSADE ENTERPRISES RECORDS
LP 552
STEREO





SIDE A:



THANK YOU LORD 2:27
EXCUSES 3:48
FULLY PERSUADED 3:47
WHEN I SAID YES TO JESUS 3:19
DEAR JESUS, ABIDE WITH ME 3:00

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SIDE B:



GOD CAN 3:30
TEARDROPS KEEP FALLING 2:27
IF YOU MISS HEAVEN 3:44
HE KNOCKED AND I ANSWERED 3:30
THERE'S BOUND TO COME A CHANGE 2:21

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Editor's note: a great country Christian album with lots of accompaniment instrumentation on top of the actual music. I think they call that multi-layered tracks or something like that. Anyway, there's lots of unexpected guitar, organ and horns and it only spices up this already rollicking record.

THE HOUR OF THE WITCH

by Gundella


MUTT RECORDS
AR 1877
1971



(yes, I stoled the pictures)


SIDE A:

Gundella Tells You How to Cast a Spell



click the player(s) to download


SIDE B:

The Seven Knob Candle Spell




Spell To Make a Man Love You (Flower Bulb)




Spell To Make a Woman Love You (Wax Doll)




Love Potion (Coriander Seed)




Spell to Discourage an Unwanted Suitor (Black Rose)




Editor's note: Gundella, a Detroit-area witch, put this LP record out on Mutt Records (Inkster, MI), I believe, in the fall of 1971, though some attribute the label to Top of the Needle Records. Either way it's a great recording which the fine gentleman over at FM Dust kindly shared with me. I now share it with you. Enjoy!

If I've never mentioned it before, I recently started a blog about Gundella. After two years of searching for it in thrift stores and "cheaping" out of paying $40 for it on eBay I finally resorted to begging the generous guy from FM Dust for a copy. Seeing as she is the whole reason I started up this record blog I figured I would record her history in a blog full of old newspaper articles now that I have procured the record. Yup, my life is fairly pathetic. Sadly enough, I actually blogging!

THE MAGIC SOUNDS OF BILL IRWIN AT THE ORGAN

from the Pop Concert Series


HAL LEONARD/POINTER PUBLICATIONS
PP-S300

STEREO





SIDE A:



BRASILIA 2:54
BY THE TIME I GET TO PHOENIX 2:55
FOWL PLAY 2:06
FOOLS RUSH IN 3:45
UP, UP AND AWAY 2:54
SO WHAT'S NEW 2:22
THE ONE I LOVE 2:15

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SIDE B:



MAME 2:17
TENDERLY 3:09
BASIN STREET BLUES 2:30
REAL LIVE GIRL 2:04
PUT ON A HAPPY FACE 2:12
STORMY WEATHER 3:39
STEP TO THE REAR 2:24

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Editor's note: not a Halloween record per se but the cover surely fits the bill. Speaking of Bill Irwin: he kicks the crap out of the melody machine and makes it purr like a rubber sphinx. Old dudes on the organ is about as close to magic as most record collectors will ever get.

SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC: CANCER

music by Mort Garson; narrated by Nancy Priddy, John Erwin, Michael Bell


A&M RECORDS
SP 4214
1969
STEREO


SIDE A:



I KNOW YOU CANCER 1:47
CANCER AT WORK 2:07
PLANETARY MOTIVATIONS 1:53
WHERE WAS YOUR MOON 6:44

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SIDE B:



CANCER -- NUMBERS, GEMS AND COLORS 3:50
IN LOVE, CANCER? 2:40
THE FOUR SEASONS OF CANCER 3:46
THOSE WHO KNEW 3:14

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Editor's note: space age hippie groovy new age nonsense which makes me purr like a 5 headed kitten with rabies. Whereas I liked Sidney Omarr's take on Scorpio with his scholarly look, I just as much like this one for it's trippy dippy nonsensical ride. You will too, toad-lickers.

SCORPIO - ALL ABOUT YOU

by Sydney Omarr


ASTRO RECORDS
A 110
1960s?





SIDE A:



ALL ABOUT YOUR SIGN

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SIDE B:



HOW THE 11 OTHER SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC RELATE TO YOU

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Editor's note: normally astrologers come across as weirdos or shysters but Omarr presents himself as a scholarly type, albeit a bit foppish. Scorpio sounds like a real screwball and even though that should alarm you, you're better off taking advantage of the nut-job and getting some crazy sex, free beer and useless fun from them before you report them to the police or their significant other who is being duped.

THERE'S A GHOST IN MY HOUSE

by R. Dean Taylor


V.I.P. RECORDS
VIP-25042
1967


SIDE A:



THERE'S A GHOST IN MY HOUSE

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Editor's note: there's a copy of this on every Halloween record blog and rightfully so! This is a classic tune with a heavy edge and some fuzz guitar. Not exactly scary so expect the ghosts to be rockin' instead of gliding down the hallways and stairways.

LET'S PLAY TRAFFIC COP

by Dick Harvey & The Listen & Learn Players


FAMOUS CHILD GUIDANCE RECORDS
CG-1005
1967





SIDE A:



LET'S PLAY TRAFFIC COP

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SIDE B:



LET'S PLAY HOSPITAL

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Editor's note: for some reason these old records with more deep groove scratches than a S&M bitch-boy play without skipping much better than more modern LPs with minor scuffs do. That said, this is a great kid's record with a more sensible approach to life than our current age has to offer.

ANGEL LOVE

by Aoeliah


SONA GAIA PRODUCTIONS
LP-133
1985





SIDE A:



Devotions 23:33

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SIDE B:



Celestial Sanctity 21:38

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Editor's note: I don't much care for the new age music but this stuff is all right. The synth droning of one incessant song for 20+ minutes is better than listening to some babbling brook prophet of salvation or doom. Plus the guy creating the music has a Mike Brady haircut and that earns him bonus points as well.

EXTRAUTERINA

by Atomsko Skloniste


RTV RECORDS
LD 0721
1981
STEREO





SIDE A:



SMANJI GAS 4:08
EXTRAUTERINA 3:25
DOK SE TIJELOTVOJE VIDI 3:42
BOGOVIMA SI NABIJALA ROGOVE 3:33
NE DAJ SINA ZA MUSKU DROLJU 3:21

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SIDE B:



OLUJNI MORNAR 3:54
DO PONOCI - OD PONOCI 3:16
JOS MIRISES NA PELENE 4:42
MORAM ZAMOLITI PROLAZNIKE 2:55
NETKO DOBAR NETKO ZAO 3:49

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Editor's note: if I had to pin a "most-sounds-like" badge on these guys it would be an amalgamation of three entities: early Sammy Hagar, Scorpions and Lemmy from Motorhead after a nut-clipping. A little hard rock, a lot of rock rock and a smidge of pop rock makes this Yugo-Croatia outfit's effort a pretty good listen. If I could understand them I might call it an excellent LP but that language barrier thwarts any thought of doing so. The cover art is quite excellent though.

OREGON MOUNTAINS

by Woody Simmons


DEEP RIVER RECORDS
DR 1001
1977
STEREO






SIDE A:



YOU'VE GOT THE LOVE
CAN'T SAY WHY
FEATHER IN THE WIND
BANJO RAGA
OREGON MOUNTAINS

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SIDE B:



GOIN' DOWN SOUTH
GREY TODAY
MOCKINGBIRD
SUITE FOR WINGS
I'LL GIVE IT ALL TO THE MUSIC

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Editor's note: so I get all the pictures taken of this one and sit down to play it and think, "Hmmm, Woody seems like a cool enough dude and my mom's from Oregon so this should be interesting." Interesting indeed! Woody's a chick! Sorry, that I thought you were a guy but your voice surely says all woman. I should have known that this was a lady seeing it's on a subsidiary of Olivia Records the renown feminist label but the name threw me off. Plus I just figured it was a handsome cowboy sorts and and and... yeah, I blew it (I told you that I don't read the covers!). Ms. Simmons, however, blows the roof off with an excellent folky performance.