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Wednesday, October 23, 2019

GERMAN BEER DRINKING SONGS

by The Zillertal Band


SOMERSET RECORDS
SF-18700
STEREO
1963


SIDE A:



O Du Lieber Augustine - Du, Du, Liegst Mir Im Herzen
Bayrische Ländler
Freut Euch Des Lebens - Mein Hut Der Hat Drei Ecken
Barbara - Polka
Ansage - Schunkelwalzer - Ein Prosit Der Gemütlichkeit
Herbstpolka
Schuhplattler

download


SIDE B:



Ein Prosit Der Gemütlichkeit - Kornblumenblau
In München Steht Ein Hofbrauhaus
Der Fröhliche Wanderer
Trink, Trink, Bruderlein Trink!
Holzhackerbuabn
Lili Marleen
Du Kannst Nicht Treu Sein - Wer Soll Das Bezahlen - Heute Blau Und Morgen Blau
Auf Wiedersehn

download

Editor's note: Oktoberfest goes until November, right? I don't really care if it does. I'm posting all of these motherfuckers now and moving on. Hopefully, I'll receive the Halloween cassette that I ordered on eBay before the 31st and post it here to zero applause or fanfare. I don't blame you. Actually, I do but since I can't punch your tits in I'll just type passive-aggressively until my fingers tire out. That time is now.

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

GERMAN BEER DRINKING MUSIC

Hans Braun, His Brauhaus Band & Chorus


DIPLOMAT RECORDS
D 2293
MONO


SIDE A:



Ein Heller Und Ein Batzen
Die Blauen Dragoner
Oh Du Wunder - Schoener Rhein
Schwartzbraun Ist Die Haselnus
Unter Den Doppel Adler
Morgen Marschiren Wir

download


SIDE B:



Steig Ich Den Berg Hinauf
Waldeslust - Freut Euch Des Lebens
Das Schoenste Auf Die Welt
Glaube - Nicht Ans Rehbocknest
Wenn Die Soldaten Durch Die Stadt Marschiren

download

Editor's note: while buying cheap records at the thrift store today and having no luck finding any cassettes I remembered that I had some Oktoberfest on vinyl saved from earlier in the year and before. The same old oompah that I listened to on and off in between FB posts on some research that I am always doing. Yeah, this blog is more about keeping the blog relevant to a minimal degree and archiving and almost nothing to do with the actual recordings. That's  how I roll.

Monday, October 21, 2019

MUSICAL MEMORIES OF GERMANY VOL. 2: AUF ZUM OKTOBERFEST

by Various Artists


TELEFUNKEN
LT 6585


SIDE A:



Auf Geht's Zum Oktoberfest (Bavarian Medley)
Der Rixdorfer
Muß I Denn, Muß I Denn

download


SIDE B:



Bier Her, Bier Her
Der Graf Von Rüdesheim
Als Wir Jüngst In Regensberg Waren
Es Zogen Drei Burschen Wohl Über Den Rhein
Gaudeamus Igitur
Es War Einmal Ein Treuer Husar
Einmal Am Rhein
Kornblumenblau
Wir Kommen Alle In Den Himmel
Trompeten-Echo
Trink', Trink', Bruderlein, Trink'
Im Grunewald, Im Grunewald Ist Holzauktion
Tiroler Holzhacker Buam
Ich Kann Nun Mal Das Jodeln Nicht Mehr Lassen
Radetzky-Marsch
Pack' Die Badehose Ein
Auf Wiederseh'n

download

Editor's note: first off Telefunken is one of the best sounding names for a record company. Secondly, oompah oompah oompah. That's what these Oktoberfest records always sound like. No matter, I love the covers even though the photos of said covers are garbage because it's raining here in Michigan and the light won't return until next April. Deal with it.

Saturday, October 19, 2019

JENNIE GYMNAST



MATTEL INC.
11163-0360
1993


SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download

Editor's note: Jennie Gymnast was a crappy doll from the 1990s and the instructions and music follow suit. Garbage made for garbage people! Haha. Cheer up, Bub, I say this about everything. It's my schtick.

Friday, October 18, 2019

BUBBLE JOY

by Elaine Curzio


AVANT GARDE RECORDS
AVS-125
STEREO
1970


SIDE A:



Magical Box
Does God Ever Laugh?
Hey God
God Is Alive
Hip Hip Hurray
Reflections

download


SIDE B:



Bubble Joy
Celebrate Life
Resurrection
And The World Was Made Flesh
Evolution
Where The Spirit Leads

download

Editor's note: my longstanding rule of self-governance as far as sealed records are concerned is that unless I have at least 2 copies and they aren't extremely rare I will not open them. As such, I've had this record for probably a decade in sealed form. Today, I found an opened copy at the thrift store and finally get to hear it. Not bad! The stand-outs are "Does God Ever Laugh?" for the cringeworthy laugh affect that she uses and the show stealing but very brief "Resurrection" on Side B. Other than that it's par for the course religious folk from the 1970s.

Thursday, October 17, 2019

RADIO SHACK TELEPHONE ANSWERING MACHINE: AFTERNOON

by nondescript old white guy


RADIO SHACK
43-401


SIDE A:



download

Editor's note: since this was only 20 seconds I let it run through for a few minutes. You'll thank me later. I'm not sure for what but something good will come of this nothingness.

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

LULLABY FROM THE WOMB

by Dr. Hajime Murooka


CAPITOL RECORDS
ST-11421
STEREO
1974


SIDE A:



Sound Of The Main Artery Of The Mother (A)
Sound Of The Main Artery Of The Mother (B)
Sounds Of The Main Artery And Veins Of The Mother
Sounds To Relax The Newborn Baby (Combination)
Sounds Of The Womb & Intermezzo From "Jewels Of The Madonna"
Sounds Of The Womb & Traumerei From "Scenes From Childhood"

download


SIDE B:



Meditation From "Thais"
Air On The G String
Intermezzo From "Cavalleria Rusticana"
The Swan From "Carnival Of The Animals"
Andante Cantabile
Panorama From "Sleeping Beauty"

download

Editor's note: I bought this record to piss off abortionists but the sound quality on the first slice is akin to something metallic dragging on a gravel road spliced onto the ear of a third trimester stethoscope. The 2nd side would only anger the Brahmists - both religionists & devotees of the musician himself.

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

EXPOSE ON THE CLOSET WITCHES

by Lance Wallnau


1980s?


SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download

Editor's note: this is an odd tape because the supposed expose of the closet witches contained here within is mostly a vocal doubting of the expose itself. Regardless, it seemingly involves the ministry of a comic book preacher named Jack Chick whose congregation was infiltrated by lesbian witches. At the point where Wallnau's congregation begins to pray for Chick's static Hell takes over the tape. I let it run just the same because I'm a purist but it is an aural nightmare to the ears so if you're using headphones keep that in mind. SIDE B returns to the prayer session. The rest is up to you to discern.

Monday, October 14, 2019

A YOUNG PEOPLE'S INTRODUCTION TO BRAHMS

written by Joseph Machlis; narrated by Norman Rose


WONDERLAND RECORDS
RLP 1483
1962


SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download

Editor's note: I fell asleep at the Detroit Symphony Orchestra during a Johannes Brahms program some years ago. That's as deep as my cultural discernment goes. Without the Wikipedia-esque talkover biography on this record I'd likely be sleeping before SIDE B. Snoring is not optional.

Sunday, October 13, 2019

PSYCHIC READING, OCTOBER 26, 1994

by Kathleen of the Alhambra Institute


1994



SIDE A:



download

Editor's note: I'm going to get verbose here so grab some Ritalin. Having the misfortune of being half Polish and being born under the astrological sign of Taurus (I don't believe in any of that bullshit) I am doubly-inclined to be stubborn. In my quest to find both an obscure cassette of ghost stories by the witch Gundella and also the psychic readings she was known for I have scoured through bin upon bin of AOR, religious and nature tapes at rummage sales, thrift store, garage sales and estate sales in my quest to find either. No such luck but I won't be deterred. 

Back before there was eBay and you could just click and buy that which was desired you had to search ceaselessly for obscurities. I heard "The Motorcade Sped On" by Steinski & Mass Media on BBC Radio 1 late night sometime around 1990 and had to have it. Being that it was only available on a limited release 45 record as well as a Canadian compilation CD, also in limited edition, it took me probably 5 years of searching before I finally found it in a discount bin at Sam's Jams in Dearborn. I'm on year 10 of looking for Gundella's offerings. Having gone so far as to contact the guy in Southfield who produced the tape. He was shocked to hear that somebody was actually looking for it after 30 some years. 

Anyway, this is the only psychic reading that I have ever found on cassette and was half of the impetus for purchasing a cassette to MP3 recorder. The reading is fairly boring and Kathleen, the psychic from the Alhambra Institute in Dearborn, Michigan, which is now defunct (and surely Kathleen has passed since she was 73 when this was recorded) makes a disclaimer or two about the accuracy of the cards. Not that it matter since the recipient is unnamed and likely deceased as well and we'll never know how accurate it was. It's an interesting local curiosity just the same.

Also of note, is that the Alhambra Institute must have been close quarters because it sounds like you can hear another reading occurring in the background of this tape. Furthermore, Mary Kathleen Maureen Murphy (from Wexford, Ireland; maybe I will figure out more about her!), the psychic, has somewhat the same cadence, dialect and accent as good old Gundella.

Saturday, October 12, 2019

RAP WITH THE FACTS: MULTIPLICATION



TWIN SISTERS PRODUCTIONS
TWIN 1


SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download

Editor's note: after the novelty of this tape wore off all I can think of is WHY?!?!? Why did somebody make this? Why did I buy this? Why did I post this here? Why are you going to listen to this? Ah- yes, the disappointed one speaks.

Friday, October 11, 2019

THE HORRORS OF HELL

by Dr. Al Lacy


ARTIST'S RECORDS
720413


SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download

Editor's notes: This record promised a searing, wood-paneled vision of The Horrors of Hell but the preacher man only delivered the path to get there. Obviously, eternal disappointment is my fate and now yours, too.

Thursday, October 10, 2019

DEALING WITH DEMONS

by Ernest B. Rockstad


1970


SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download

Editor's note: while I believe that this is an earnest attempt at demonology I'm pretty certain that the persons being exorcised are probably drunks, addicts or mental patients but not likely haunted. There's no real EXORCIST moment in the recording though some of the fatigued wailing and crying is a bit eerie just because. Either way, an interesting offering.

Wednesday, October 09, 2019

COMMODORE 64: AN INTRODUCTION TO BASIC PART 1

by Andrew Collin


COMMODORE ELECTRONICS LTD
1982


SIDE A:



download

Editor's note: sometimes you have to get through a bad experience to reap the rewards of a positive one. This is one of those bad experiences. Though I will say that listening to the entire 11 minutes or so of static white noise in the vein of the AOL signing on to the internet kind of vibe builds up your endurance towards negative stimuli. I used to do that with AOR on the radio and force myself to listen to songs that I hated (especially Alanis Morrisette) so that when put into a torture chamber by the Illuminati they couldn't sweat my virtue out via noise and terrible music. Anyway, the good experience referenced in the first line will appear tomorrow in the form of "Dealing With Demons" whereby a man of Jesus exorcises a few women of their demons. Until then...

Tuesday, October 08, 2019

THE AMERITECH MOBILE ANSWER TAPE



AMERITECH
1991


SIDE A:



download


SIDE B:



download

Editor's note: so it's come to this, eh? Instructions for the now archaic mobile phone. The bulky thing that rich guys talked on in their convertibles that looked like an army medic walkie talkie. Or maybe it wasn't that far back. Whichever it was it was the best and worst and only fitting for this dinosaur blog which doesn't know how to properly retire.

Monday, October 07, 2019

LETTER TO RUTH AND JACK FROM DAD (& MOM), MARCH 7 & 9, 1986


1986


SIDE A:



download

Editor's note: the logistics of recording cassettes as opposed to vinyl isn't much different except that the records are generally longer and spending more than a half hour on this project is grinding to me within an already busy schedule. Thus, some tapes. Once I get past the short supply of brief recordings I will likely falter some more. I love recording things but I don't like spending a lot of time doing so. I many more pressing things to accomplish.

Anyway, this tape was likely picked up at McKay's Books in Knoxville since I recognize a few road names being from that area. While the Dad who recorded this letter to his children is unnamed he reminds me of a more southern version of Kurt Vonnegut. Given the same recording devices they may have been almost aural dopplegangers. Which is odd since I'm assuming that Dad was from Knoxville and Vonnegut from Indiana. No matter, the letter is classical DAD from olden times when the minutia of the day became the newsworthy subject. Add in some poetry and Bible verse and it's hard to see how this ended up in a free book bin.

People, places and things mentioned in the tape are Mr. Ernest Godman (or Godwin), Rockaway, Oregon, Mother Porter, Blackstone, Virginia, Washington D.C., Camp Magruder, Edgar A. Guest, Citizens Drive-In Bank, Dr. Price, Kroger, Ladonna Dress Shop, East Broadway, Sevier Road, Asberry Acres, World Day of Prayer, June Crumley, Roger Mudd, Tom Brokaw and a few names that I couldn't understand.

Thursday, October 03, 2019

RADIO SHACK TELEPHONE ANSWERING MACHINE OUTGOING MESSAGE

by Radio Shack


TANDY CORP.
CAT. No. 43-417
1985


SIDE A:

SINGING SIDE



download


SIDE B:

INSTRUMENTAL SIDE



download

Editor's note: I don't think there are going to be any great revelations for anybody on this answering machine cassette other than the fact that some people don't even know what an answering machine is.

Wednesday, October 02, 2019

THE AWFUL TRUTH ABOUT HALLOWEEN

by Texe Marrs


LTP
1991


SIDE A:



download

Editor's note: this would have been posted hours ago but I had to learn the ins and outs about the recorder and the number one in and out is to keep it away from cell phones. The radio waves interfere and cause static buzzing whenever you mess with it. Imagine what those waves are doing at a cellular level to your body. No matter.

Texe lays it all out here. Blacks cats. Witches. *aggot warlocks (his words, not mine). Etc. The devil is in the day and man should run far away. I don't disagree. But that goes to all aspects of life. Separate from humans at all costs! Then again, if you have sense enough you can interact with others of the species and not be sullied by them. It's not hard.

Monday, September 30, 2019

COMING SOON IS OBVIOUSLY A RELATIVE TERM


It has still yet to ship! Bastards!

Monday, September 23, 2019

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

SELECTIONS FROM THE HAUNTED HOUSE AND OTHER SPOOKY POEMS AND TALES

 read by Paul Hecht and Carole Danell


SCHOLASTIC RECORDS
CC 0688
33 1/3 RPM
1970


SIDE A:



The Haunted House
Winter Moon
Sir Roderic's Song
A Young Lady From Glitch
Ruth And Johnnie
A Skeleton Once In Khartoum
It Isn't The Cough
The Bat
The Velvet Ribbon

download


SIDE B:



The Erl-King
November Night
Dust
The Kilkenny Cats
The Cradle That Rocked By Itself 

download

Editor's note: as with the previous post this one while good would have been so much better with its original sleeve included. But you get what you get in the secondhand world when searching in the wilds or you pay through the teeth online for a stellar copy. While not scary in the least this is at least entertaining as most things Halloween and vinyl related are.

Tuesday, July 23, 2019

SPACE SONGS

by The Peter Pan Orchestra & Chorus


PETER PAN RECORDS
45-585
45 RPM


SIDE A:



A TRIP ON A ROCKET SHIP

download


SIDE B:



ON THE MOON

download

Editor's note: I have not felt much like recording lately but found this at an estate sale for 50 cents along with two other 45s so it was a no-brainer to get me semi-motivated. I'm still not but am doing it just the same. A decent scarce rendering from the atom age before the fake space age began that would have been much better if it had its original sleeve.

Tuesday, July 09, 2019

BUTTON BOX APPEAL

by The Polish Kid


SOUND RECORDS
1058
STEREO
1974


SIDE A:



Polka Country Polka
Mazurka No. One In D Major
Such-A-Polka
Dark Eyes Polka
Deutchman's Waltz
Dance Russian Dance Polka

download


SIDE B:



Happy Whistler Polka
Fette Frau Waltz
Fat Eddie Bounce Polka
Lost Horizons Waltz
Pieyed Piper Polka
Swiss Valley Waltz

download

Editor's note: said Polish "kid" appears to be about 35 but that's okay in recordo land. The banana on top of an accordion with a sky blue backdrop and drawn in flowers forgives him the transgression of the ill-used moniker. That said, I don't remember a lick of this record from the time I recorded it 2 or 3 sultry days ago. Such are the travails of a heat wave. But the recorder remembers and here is the testimony of its recollection.

Monday, July 08, 2019

WITH BELLS ON

by Sid Bass and His Orchestra


RCA CAMDEN RECORDS
CAS 501
STEREO
1959


SIDE A:



The Bells Are Swinging
What Is There To Say
Pick Yourself Up
Say It With Music
In The Wee Small Hours
You'd Be So Nice To Come Home To

download


SIDE B:



Ridin' High
Soon
Blue Bells
Blue Room
The House Is Haunted
Love Walked In

download

Editor's note: the musicality of Sid Bass is beyond reproach, at least in my ears and eyes, but that Gawd-awful photo of him looking like a cross between Pee Wee Herman and Tucker Carlson if off-putting to say the least. Plus he looks happy! The hell you say?!?! Happiness is only for women, children and gays. All right, I'm crossing the line now. Listen to the music and judge for yourself what's what and listen to more Sid Bass if you feel the need.

Another thing of note: if my perceptive skills are correct it seems that many of the records that I choose for the blog seem to come from around 1959. Which is hardly my "type" of music but as far as obscure records go that time period had the cover look and appeal that entices me into buying them.